Have you ever completely psyched yourself out of creating a product, posting a blog post, hosting a webinar, or hitting that broadcast button on Periscope because you were over analysing it? I know the feeling. Fear, fear of what people will say, fear that it might not work, fear that you’ll make a mistake and embarrass yourself? It’s completely normal, you’re not weird or alone in this. Scientists have found that social threats like these are akin to threats from way back – we have the same threat response that we have when running from danger, stress levels increasing, elevated heart rate, adrenalin production.
You know when you’re online and you come across someone’s website and you think it’s better than yours – because their outfits and photos are so professional, but you can’t get any done until you lose those last 5 kilos, and you can’t do a webinar because you don’t have a cool backdrop, you think why would anyone hire me when they could just hire them? Or maybe you just get so twisted up that you don’t know where to start and you end up trying to multitask and launch new products and services left right and centre.
Ok. So what do you do? Here’s a few measures you can take to stop yourself falling into the analysis comparison whirlwind:
Here’s the first remedy: Breathe. Close your eyes. You need to centre yourself from the inside. In for four counts, hold for four counts, out for four counts, hold for four counts. Repeat. On a physiological level, this works, it’s not some woo woo idea, it’s a proven remedy for reducing cortisol (the stress hormone) and returning your body to a state where your fear response isn’t activated. Sometimes we forget that our bodies are in fact attached to our brains and they can assist us in controlling the mind. Ever heard of power posing? (That’s an article for another day.)
Now put your blinders on (metaphorically speaking). Close those windows you have open that are only there for you to compare yourself to. Close them down. Don’t worry about the pop up box so and so has, or the blueprint strategy ebook so and so has and how you should do one similar. You’ll never feel truly satisfied if you’re creating from this place, you’ll fall into analysis comparison and you’ll freeze up unable to take action. Taking action is KEY, because;
Clarity will only come from taking action.
Take it one step at a time. Test small offerings, brainstorm what it is that YOU really want to create. Don’t create something just because someone told you you should, “Sex will sell! You need to crete an ebook about that!” There will never be any passion or purpose behind something that was created because someone told you to.
Creating products should come from a place within you, where it really makes your heart sing – feel it in your body and watch what it does – do you feel a sense of lightness and excitement? Is your heart opening up? Or are you hunched over, does the thought of it make you feel ho hum and tired? Our bodies can give us so many clues when the mind tries to override you with logic. Don’t be afraid to drop a project if it doesn’t feel right anymore, if it’s just feeling blah. Beige. Un-exciting. Do you have a client that saps up all of your time, without offering anything in return? Say no. Tell them you need can’t work with them any longer, and offer some other people they could carry on with.
No matter where you are right now, it’s your story that is the make-up of who you are. Whatever it is that you want to create, whatever it is that you want to do, is completely in your power. Allow the world to open up to you without pushing so hard to make more money, grow your list faster, produce more content, sell more.
If you’re in a situation at this very moment, that you feel so out of control, that you’re stuck and you can’t get out – remember, this is your journey and every part of it whether it seems like it or not, is valuable.
If you’re really struggling ask for help, reach out. And sometimes, you won’t be able to pull yourself out without speaking to someone, whether it’s a friend or a professional – and sometimes just the pure act of reaching out will be enough for you to know you have support, and knowing that, will propel you forward. You don’t need to measure yourself up to others, and you can take responsibility for your own life. Getting stuck and frozen isn’t forever.
2. Put your blinders on
3. Take action (small steps every day)
4. Let your body decide (is it light? is it heavy?)
5. Ask for help
You are a child of the universe, your mother is not your mother. Your father is not your father.
You MATTER. You are gorgeous. You are a wonder of the universe.